Creativity, Life Moments, Failure, and Exploration

Does the world really stop for a moment? It stopped for me once, but I was too busy admiring to take a risk. We are all scared to take a risk, and when we do we do it too late or we just muck up the chance. I was scared, and now I’m a hopeless. As Bradley Cooper says in my one of my favorite movies “You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest and if you stay positive you have a shot at a silver lining.” I’ve got friends, and family members who work as hard as they can yet that silver lining is just out of there reach. What scares me is what if I do all this work for nothing? Then I have a thought, well you’re Mitchell Cannon and Mitchell Cannon doesn’t give up.

When I started writing it was a release of thoughts and feelings that I could never quite put into words, yet I figured out. We will never be able to do that completely, but we can try to do those special moments where time stops justice. There’s a negative impact to this, at least for me, you think deeper, you think on a level so complex not even you understand, thoughts, feelings rush in consistently. Somedays I wish I could give back this creative gift for a week and see what life is like? But then a thought occurs to me, imagine how boring life would be. I grew up watching Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars; imagining where I was going to take people, what worlds would I have them explore.

Then came the camera before the pen, like writing, a camera can only do so much and even then only the masters can really make people stop and make us feel. Everyone has seen that one movie that just breaks you, those are the guys who are telling the stories the right ways, they don’t usually win awards for it though. I picked up my first camera around 14 years old, the only thing I thought of was what I was showing, the thought how to show it came 6 years later. Why because I was a kid I wanted to show people something they hadn’t seen, I wanted to make them feel, and amazed. The thing is how we frame things in film and in life is what really matters.

How does all this relate because 4 months ago, I stepped out of all comfort zones for the old me, as the people who knew me before the trip said. The scared little kid, who couldn’t even do a presentation to a class or ask a girl out on a date, left to another world with a group of strangers. That little kid grew up in a few days though, not without the help from some awesome people. I remember the first night, I couldn’t sleep, it was hot, and I had to pee about every 10 mins. I remember sitting in the shower, shaking. Then, came the second night, a little better, but I threw up, and I was sobbing. My roommate came in, and said call the professor ask her what to do. And I did, she said get some yogurt! Get some goddamn yogurt! I was shocked, and thank goodness I listened because my roommate and I walked to the store and got some, that trip to get yogurt became the turning point for me. The scared kid, turned into the leader of the group. Instead of wondering if I was getting invited to go out to eat; I became the one inviting others out. What changed? I probably never will know, but I’m grateful it did.

Recently, that scared kid has made his way back because he’s afraid of what might happen if he the leader version of himself fails. Fails what you might ask? I’m currently working on a short film; which is taking a toll on me as well as my confidence in other areas. Filmmaking is tough, and managing a group of aspiring filmmakers is just as tough and then you throw in other college things that happen to you at this point in your life. Well, it starts to wear down the confidence and mental well being of you, but that’s where all this relates. As much as I think writing, photography, and filmmaking makes me think deeper, it lets me escape and put my thoughts down on paper, giving me a release. Then, that brings me to the moments where time stops, my roommate/one of my best friend calls them movie scenes, moments you see in movies, but they happen in real life. When they happen, I just say this should be in a movie. So, if you want some writing advice, filmmaking advice, or life advice from a struggling college filmmaker: take a risk, embark on a journey you wouldn’t ever see yourself doing because that’s how you discover parts of yourself. I’m going to leave a shot I took a few weeks ago, that kinda describes this so enjoy it!

PS: Friends are the meaning of life because without them, I wouldn’t be where I am.

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